Can Friendships Survive New Mommyhood?
Friendships are important, especially between women. We are really there to support each other and help one another through the tough times. Many of us have a large circle of people we consider friends, but usually only a handful who we consider to be really close. You know the ones; they are the women you share everything with. They have seen you through thick and thin, as you have done for them. You were in each others’ wedding parties. You get together for regular gab fests over martinis or coffee. Sure, you have your disagreements, but you always work it out and end up stronger than ever. Then, you have a baby…
Having a baby is a huge event in a person’s life. Sometimes friends luck out and have babies around the same time, but other times a major life event can throw a bit of a wrench into a friendship. The truth is that, like any other relationship in life, friendships have their ups and downs. It is the level of commitment to the friendship that will determine whether or not it lasts.
Both friends need to understand that having a baby shifts around a lot of priorities in life. Where you used to be able to run out the door after dinner to meet up for coffee, now you are breastfeeding right after. You can no longer drop everything and head over to a friend’s house. Time out without your baby takes a lot of planning and may not even be something you are comfortable doing in the beginning.
If you and one or more of your friends are having a tough time adjusting to this new stage in your friendship you should probably sit down and talk it out. Discuss how much you both really care about each other. Try not to feel guilty about expressing your frustrations and try to understand the frustration on the other side too. As long as you both understand that things will be different but that you are both still committed to the friendship, it will work out in the end.
Posted by eMommie Blogger Kim P.- Mom to Findlay